Monday, November 22, 2010

Yay! Carey Mulligan is single

This is a rather insensitive headline, ill-becoming of a website of our quality and reputation. But, to be honest, we couldn't help ourselves, because she was too good for that Shia TheBeef anyway (we here at FHM do not hold long-standing, historical grudges, but out of principle we refuse to print his name in its original French because it ruins the poetic flow of our beautiful mother tongue). Following the split, she has been pictured looking rather rough whilst coming out of a £69-a-night Best Western in Los Angeles, where she is currently filming the new heist drama Drive. We will not be reproducing those pictures here, not only because it is disrespectful to take snaps of a lady when she isn't looking her best, but also because we don't want you departing this page en masse (We succumbed. How they have permanently soiled our language...). So, here's a picture of her looking hot instead.Now, a rather strange thing seems to have happened. We hope it's not some sick hoax. In the picture below, you will see Carey Mulligan, happily oblivious to all the photographers blinding her with flashes. However, look behind her, and there is unmistakably a grainy apparation of TheBeef. We don't think this is our minds playing tricks on us, like when we're in the street and we see what we believe to be a Curly Wurly on the floor, only on picking it up we discover it is in fact a Chomp. No, this is more than a passing likeness. But wait a minute. Aren't you only able to apparate when you're dead? Theory disproved. Move on.

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