Sunday, November 21, 2010

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley wore fur

In days gone by, this would not have been worthy of a news story. But ever since the animal rights movement gained momentum as a force for social action, and because not much else of note has been going on today, this is tantamount to any other noteworthy piece of information you're likely to hear. So, here goes. Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, our lovely Victoria's Secret model who recently did a swimwear catalogue for them, has committed the worst fashion crime known to humankind (yes, even worse than socks and sandals). SHE WORE REAL FUR. IN PUBLIC.
Now, we're not being flippant about this sort of thing. We deplore the practice of killing cute little animals for anything other than carniverous purposes. But it does look quite good on her though, doesn't it? No, stop it. We're meant to be in reactionary mode. This is a disgraceful abomination of God's work, murder for aesthetic adornment. We can perhaps understand the rationale behind poaching and ivory hunting - people do need to make a living after all. But to mindlessly condone this barbaric industry by purchasing their goods? Well, that is beyond the pale. It's a shame, because if she didn't have the diplomatic immunity granted her due to the ravishing beauty she possesses, we would have attempted a citizen's arrest.
Maybe she knew the furore it would cause, because since arriving in New York she hasn't been spotted once without her trusty pair of Jackie-O sunglasses. Rosie, a point of information. If you want to go incognito, don't wear fur. Oh, and don't be Rosie Huntington-Whiteley either. She's been all over the U.S. in the past few months filming the latest instalment of the Transformers franchise. She'll be making her screen debut alongside Shia 'TheBeef', after Megan Fox, who was due to take Rosie's part, allegedly fell out with director Michael Bay. We hope you don't become too succesful over there and leave us for good, Rosebud. Can we call you Rosebud? Anyway, we've left a candle burning in our bedsit for when you return.

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